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Sexual Health Challenges and Solutions

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Kunle Emmanuel
Posts: 2270
Joined: Mon Jan 09, 2012 5:02 pm
Location: Lagos

Sexual Health Challenges and Solutions

Unread post by Kunle Emmanuel » Sun May 21, 2017 8:55 am

Couples sexuality health awareness solutions by Funmi Akingbade.
Despite the fact that we live in the post-Victorian, post-human potential movement, post-free love movement, we are still uncomfortable with our own sexuality. One would think that with all of the talk about sex, all of the books written about sex, and all of the movies depicting sexuality, we would finally have reached a point in our evolution where we would be as comfortable talking about and experimenting with sex as we are talking about food; sharing sexual information as readily as we share recipes. But this is not the case.

One … Let’s ask questions from resourceful persons, we are uncomfortable talking to our friends about sex; we are uncomfortable asking for help with our sexuality, and we certainly would not take lessons in how to increase our enjoyment of sex. We will take cooking classes to learn how to prepare a gourmet meal. We will take dancing lessons to better be able to trip the lights fantastic.

Two … Let’s take lesson from sex therapist or sexology if need be, we will take golf lessons, tennis lessons and any number of other lessons to increase our expertise and enhance our abilities. However, when it comes to sex, we assume that we should be able to function optimally without help. Furthermore, if we should want to increase our sexual pleasure or should we feel uncomfortable with some aspect of our sexual life, we feel embarrassed in seeking counsel.

Three … Never believe that sex is only a basic instinct; it should be learnt and acquired also. Generally, we carry the belief that we should know everything there is to know about sex as if sexual behaviour was encoded in our DNA. Most of us carry attitudes about sexuality that we learned when we were adolescents. We seldom take the time to update that information. As adults, we operate based on adolescent notions of sexuality. Ignorance is one of the most effective deterrents to effective sexual functioning.

Five … understand that human sexuality is enormous, versatile and multidimensional. There are no rules for the human sexual response. We can respond to the same sex or the opposite sex. We can have a sexual response when we are alone or with someone. We respond to living beings and inanimate objects. Human sexuality includes all of the senses — smell, touch, sound, sight, and taste. Sexuality involves imagination, fantasy and imagery.

Boys tend to learn about their sexuality through locker-room talk, erotic magazines and movies and trial and error.

Girls gain their sexual knowledge through conversations with other girls and women, love stories and movies and experience. For men, the sexual act is often a combination of pleasure, sexual release and power. For women, sexuality is often intimacy, affection and pleasure. Just think about the terms men and women use when referring to sex. Male terms tend to be aggressive, even hostile, while female terms are gentle, loving and even spiritual. Women make love, men get laid.

These attitudes and values affect the manner in which the genders approach sexuality and, in large measure, contribute to their appreciation of the sex act. Furthermore, these values affect how men and women perceive themselves and how they view each other.

Six … the differences are very obvious, generally, men establish their identity through performance. From childhood through adulthood, they measure themselves by such things as how far they can spit, how fast they can run, how far they can throw a football, grade point average, penis size, salary size, staying power in bed and the number of women they can “conquer.”

One way or another, performance matters. Women generally measure themselves by how attractive they are to men, the power held by the men that are attracted to them and by how they are treated by these men. If men treat them kindly, then they are good, if men treat them poorly, they perceive themselves bad.

Men and women bring these attitudes into the bedroom, playing out their roles as performer and seductress. During lovemaking, the male is concerned with whether he will perform well enough or whether he will fail. Rather than focusing on his loved one, he is concerned whether she will be pleased with his performance. She, on the other hand, is concerned with whether he will think she is attractive enough. Are her buttocks too big or are her breasts too small?

Seven … Sex has different languages of expression, lovemaking is similar to ballroom dancing. Each person may or may not be a good dancer. One person may be a great dancer and the other may not be terrific.

However, it is how they dance together that matters. Some people can dance well alone, but not with a partner. To be beautiful and satisfying, ballroom dancing demands cooperation, communication and consideration. One partner must not go on his or her own without communicating to the partner; and the partners must cooperate.

No couple expects to dance well together, no matter how well either one may dance alone, without practising together. It does not matter how easy it might be to dance with other partners, one’s current partner is the one that matters if you wish to become a good ballroom dance team.

All of this is true for lovemaking as well. Yet we often believe that good lovemaking should “come naturally,” without education.

Eight … We can make up our mind to update on sex, we covet beliefs that somehow people should know how to make love together and should not have to talk about it or practise with the intent of improving our style so that it is mutually satisfying. Clearly, if your dance partner continuously stepped on your toes and was unwilling to discuss the matter, it would not take long before you either stop dancing or find a different partner. Yet majority of couples do not communicate about their lovemaking and are not open to exploring their sexuality with one another. Even the most experienced lovers often practise poor lovemaking strategies. People, especially men, become defensive when their partner wants to discuss their sex life as if they were about to be criticised.

Nine … Communication is a vital key, communication between dance partners and lovers is essential for having a satisfying experience. The partners must frequently communicate verbally and non-verbally with one another in order to learn to anticipate each other’s moves. With sufficient practice, the dance of love seems effortless.

Lovemaking should be fun, playful, affectionate, intimate and fulfilling. When something goes awry, either because of faulty communication, inappropriate attitudes, or antiquated beliefs, a sexual dysfunction may emerge.

Ten … Couples must remember that most sex goes on between your ears, not between your legs! Good sex starts with a healthy attitude about sex.

The cardinal rules for good sex are: respect your married partner
  • -adopt a healthy attitude towards your partner and sex

    -share your thoughts and feelings with your spouse

    -talk about what you like and don’t like

    -be honest


    -have fun and relax

    -practise and keep practising because practice makes perfect.
Culled from Punch.

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Kunle Emmanuel
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Re: Sexual Health Challenges and Solutions

Unread post by Kunle Emmanuel » Sun May 21, 2017 10:15 am

Can I ever get any woman pregnant?
Can I ever get any woman pregnant? I have a small penis and I ejaculate prematurely. I must confess to you that I am so dejected. Can a man ejaculate and pee at the same time? My friends say that is why I have not been able to get my wife pregnant?
Mr. Morris Gabriel

Yes, you can get a woman pregnant, even though your penis is small and you ejaculate prematurely, some sperm cells can mix with the new sperm in your urethra from a previous ejaculation if you go for the second or the third round of sex. However, you do not need to suffer in silence. Medication is available against premature ejaculation, weak erection and erectile dysfunction with the newly discovered herbs for small penis.

Do exercise, weight, and age affect fertility?
I am into sport and love what I do. Though I’m married, I have difficulty in conceiving and I have had two miscarriages already. My husband thinks my sporting activities and underweight are responsible for the delay. He insists I should stop what I love to do. My question is this, do exercise, weight and age affect fertility? We have a very good sexual life.
Biota Hygenous

Actually, moderate exercise is good for everyone and exercise should be encouraged for both women and men who are gearing up to try to conceive. However, excessive, strenuous exercise in women may result in disruption of the ovulation cycle, thereby affecting her periods. Normal exercise has not been linked to miscarriages (loss of pregnancy), but certain forms of exercise (for example, high-impact) should be avoided in pregnancy. Even in men, too much exercise may cause a low sperm count. A woman’s peak fertility is in her early 20s. At age 35 and beyond (and particularly after 40), the likelihood of becoming pregnant reduces. Even as men age, levels of testosterone fall, and the volume and concentration of sperm changes. A healthy diet is very important for women who are trying for a baby. Weight loss can disrupt a woman’s menstrual cycle and thereby reduce her chances of becoming pregnant. When trying to add some weight, be mindful that being overweight can affect a woman’s fertility and can cause complications during pregnancy.

Blood with my faecal products during sex
I am 48 years old and for some times now, I have been passing out blood with my faecal products especially immediately after sex. I do not and have not practised anal sex before but this has become a normal occurrence. Is it an old age syndrome or what do I do?
Mr. Willy Amicus

This may likely be pile otherwise called haemorrhoid which is a swollen, inflamed anal vain or veins. It usually affects people between the ages of 45 and 65. Symptoms (which can include pain, itching, swelling, and bleeding during bowel movements) usually go away within a few days; but when it presents itself with bleeding or severe pain especially while having sex, you should see a doctor. Constant constipation and diarrhoea may lead to pile and it could be hereditary. Sometimes age, straining during bowel movements and overuse of laxatives and heavy lifting, or any activity that causes you to strain or increases pressure on the veins of your rectum or anus, can cause pile.

Simple diet and lifestyle changes can reduce your chances of getting pile and also reduce the strain and pressure on your rectum when passing stools. Proper hydration and regular exercise also can improve digestion and reduce rectal straining. When you feel the need to have a bowel movement, don’t wait too long to use the bathroom.


Culled from PUNG NG
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Kunle Emmanuel
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Joined: Mon Jan 09, 2012 5:02 pm
Location: Lagos

Re: Sexual Health Challenges and Solutions

Unread post by Kunle Emmanuel » Sun May 21, 2017 10:31 am

My husband cannot gain erection to ejaculate after a tattoo on his penis
My husband and I did a homemade tattoo on our private parts as a sign of our undiluted love for one another. This was a joint decision few months ago precisely early last year. But I noticed that few weeks after the tattoo was made, my husband’s penis seems not to be as strong as it used to be. He cannot gain erection to ejaculate at all, if he ever ejaculates, that will be only during foreplay when he is supposed not to. Initially we thought it was as a result of stress from his place of work. But he changed his job over six months ago and the problem still remains the same. Is there any remedy. We are lost as to why this could be happening to us especially now that I want to be pregnant?
M.CEEY Mulika

I would still love if you can look closely and observe if there are other reasons for his erectile challenges and not conclude yet on the tattoo he has on his penis. However, pacing a tattoo on the penis could be a little bit risky especially when it is a permanent one. Because getting a permanent tattoo requires breaking the skin and having contact with blood, body fluids and tissue. The tissue of the penis may not be strong enough to receive such piercing since the skin of the penis is very tender and light. Besides, home-made tattoo often aren’t as healthy as those done by professionals. Because such tattoos are often done under unclean conditions, they also have a much higher risk of infection. Any type of tattoo involves health risks. The worst is a very dangerous infection, like HIV or hepatitis C, from unclean needles. One could also get impetigo, which is staph infections, or cellulitis, a deep skin infection. Another danger is impure ink that has mould or bacteria. This can lead to problems with the eyes, lungs, and other organs. If this condition persists, he needs to see an urologist fast

Can obesity kill erection?
Recently I have developed a protruding tommy which refuses to subside in spite of my work out and all types of exercise. My friend said it is normal and that it happens when men are advancing in age. They say that it is a middle-age thing but it is killing my sexual performance and my wife is not helpful at all. She is complaining bitterly, this is further killing me gradually. Whenever we want to make love and I see her reaction and her facial expression, I just lose all the drive and desire for anything on bed. What can I do?
Sammy Sunny

Carrying extra pounds especially round the waist is call men’s middle age spread and this can impact on one’s sexual performance. It also lowers most men’s self-esteem which affects their self-confidence on bed. Middle age spread and obesity in most men create a situation where these men have lower levels of the male hormone testosterone, which is important for sexual desire and help produce strong erection at any given time. This middle age spread and overweight is also linked to high blood pressure and hardening of the arteries, which can reduce blood flow to the penis. So in addition to these various types of work out, you have to reduce the quantity and frequency of meal consumption. This will definitely help, because your metabolism is not as high as when you were younger.

My nipples itches badly when my husband touches or sucks them
I’m in my early 40’s and very healthy. Few months ago, my nipples started itching on the very tip especially when my husband touches or sucks them. The nipples itched so badly that I thought I might rip them off. Sometimes they itch during the day, and sometime I stay awake all night. I can’t see anything at all. They look normal. But I am still itching and now it hurts under my nipples. I am constantly checking, not only for possible lumps but also for discolouration. This has made sex to be unappealing to me because the only thing that arouse me or get me to orgasm is when my nipples are sucked heavily. Anything outside this does not affect my sexual libido. Now it has been weeks we made love last because of the fear of itching. What do we do, My husband is just tagging along but I am sure his patience will soon run out.
Mrs. George olio

Many dermatology conditions can impact and affect the nipple such as atopic dermatitis, allergic reaction to laundry products, psoriasis, or even Fox Fordyce syndrome (apocrine sweat glands become clogged). Over rubbing of the nipple (e.g. jog bra syndrome) can start nerves firing inappropriately so that the sensation of irritation persists for longer time than expected. But to be on the safer side, you need to see a medical doctor as soon as possible.

Do ladies have high libido only mostly during ovulation and in pregnancy?
Hi Funmi, I just want to ask this out of curiosity; is it possible for ladies to only have a raise in libido mostly during ovulation and in pregnancy? I notice that my wife mostly wants sex only during her ovulation and when she is pregnant. This has been going on since inception of our marriage, which means I am only privileged to have sex during the times she is ovulating and during her pregnancy periods. It means that this has happened twice because we have just two children and I am not sure we will have more. For me as a husband, I feel as if I am being used to produce children more than to really also enjoy myself.
Prince Babiloma

There are some facts that married couples must know about libido especially between men and their wives. Libido expressions are personal to each person and I think this may be the pattern of your wife’s libido. I would plead with you to find a way to be happy with it and also seize the opportunity to enjoy it. For instance, if her ovulation lasts four days and you know her libido is on the volcano during that time, then make sure you have sex morning, afternoon, night till the ovulation is over. This can be an awesome moment while it lasts. Besides, please know that men have larger amounts of testosterone than women, but interestingly, younger women have large amounts of circulating testosterone compared to older menopausal women, which is thought to contribute to women’s decreased sex drive with age. Women’s sex drives peak later than men; the generalisation that women peak around age 32 and men around 18 is true. But it does appear that men peak at a younger age than women due to hormones. Ladies’ libido peaks during ovulation, a combination of high estrogen and testosterone during ovulation which leads to a higher sexual desire. Pregnancy increases libido in most women which is due to high levels of hormones in the blood. Women of childbearing age have conflicts in libido based on ovulation, pregnancy and postpartum. Young men with large amounts of testosterone are indeed peaking with their sexual desire. To further enhance her libido production, you can incorporate heart-healthy and antioxidant-rich foods like sawa fish, onions, dandelion leaves, beans and legumes into her meals which increase circulation and also increase her libido. And make sure she is not an alcohol lover because alcohol is bad for libido in that it functions as a depressant to the nervous system.

He’s unaware of our midnight romp

My husband is fond of waking me up to have sex in the middle of the night, but then, he acts like he doesn’t remember anything about it the next day whenever I bring it up, even after we have had the best of sex before bed time. What’s going on, is it okay?
I want to believe, all things being equal, you guys are having a good relationship and if so, he may have a condition called sex-somnia according to research by scientists. Actually, waking up in the morning with no memory of initiating sex in the middle of the night isn’t especially common, but I have been getting more questions about it lately, especially from wives talking about their husbands. Some couples may be able to laugh this off—one woman told me she kind of likes it when her usually reserved and shy husband is sexually assertive in his sleep. But this can become a serious problem if the sex-somniac approaches the wrong person. And I also think this isn’t so much a sex issue as a sleep disorder and I would recommend consulting a sleep specialist if the issue is getting out of hand please.

Could I have accidentally urinated on bed during sex?
My husband and I use condom during sex to prevent pregnancy and it has worked perfectly for us. And so, I am used to the feel of not feeling any form of profuse wetness of sperm during sex except my own natural vagina lubricant. But recently, I start feeling more wet than I used to. Could I have accidentally urinated on the bed during sex?
Jumbo Mary

Well, if the condom is intact and you’ve ruled out the possibility that the wet spot came from him, just take a discreet sniff. Does the wet spot smell like urine? If so, there’s your answer. This is because there’s often a tiny bit of fluid left in the bladder even after women use the bathroom, and some certain sexual positions—such as the missionary—can put enough pressure on the bladder area to cause it to leak. If this happens only once in a while, then there’s no need to worry. If the fluid has no odour or a scent and you’re about to have your period, then, you may have ejaculated. But if you’re regularly leaking urine, it could be a sign of incontinence. All you need to do is to do more Kegel exercise to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles.

Why do I sometimes laugh or cry uncontrollably during sex?
Why do I sometimes laugh or cry uncontrollably during sex? And I enjoy it and secretly look forward to it because as soon as I start laughing or crying uncontrollably, I start feeling very aroused and mostly experience orgasm.
Mrs. Charity Olaking

This is uniquely strange, although according to researchers, sex is a neurological and emotional event. In other words, it’s intense, and getting naked (physically and otherwise) with someone can trigger unexpected feelings, especially if it is a young marriage relationship. An emotional reaction could also be due to hormones, state of your menstrual cycle or fears you have about the relationship, or some unresolved underlying problems going on between both of you. If you feel something’s not right, consider bringing it up with your husband or with a therapist.

She is dry but nowhere near menopause
I am 29 years old married to a 32-year-old lady. We have a good sex life but our challenge is, my wife bleeds every time we have sex. She is nowhere near menopause, but she is as dry as the Sahara down there even when she is in the mood with lots of lubricant. As a matter of fact, no lubricant, both natural or artificial, stays longer than a minute. How can this be? I am fed up, my saliva is gone.
Dimeji Djey

There are lots of factors involved in keeping the vagina naturally lubricated, but anything that sabotages your wife’s hormone levels or her hydration level, or her blood flow throughout the body can dry her out. Then I need to ask if she is on medications or any contraceptives. About five per cent of women taking oral contraception experience vaginal dryness. Other culprits that have nothing to do with age include antihistamines, breastfeeding, chemotherapy, in vitro fertilisation and diabetes. I am sure most of the lubricants you both have been applying must have been water-based ones, why not try and use a good silicone-based lubricant before sex immediately after bath?

Should I be worried if I bleed after sex?

If the blood is a fresh light colour, and this happens only once (especially after a strenuous intense sexual activity, with different kinds of styles), then it’s probably just the result of irritation or friction. And maybe your husband has a very big penis. But if it happens again or if there’s a fair amount of blood, a mixture of dark red and light red, then you should make an appointment with your gynaecologist. It could be coming from the cervix, the uterus or caused by an infection like chlamydia or gonorrhea. It could also be as a result of unbalance vaginal pH level, or abnormal sperm PH level. The normal pH in the vagina is between 3.5 and 4.5, and that creates the best conditions for good bacteria to proliferate. If the pH goes up too high, those good bacteria can’t survive, which allows the not-good bacteria to take over, leading to that unfortunate fishy odour as well as infections like bacterial vaginosis. Normal semen happens to have a high pH, around 7.4. “So, if your pH levels are already teetering on the brink or if you’re having a lot of sex, the introduction of high pH semen can make you bleed. Your period can also increase your pH level.
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Kunle Emmanuel
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Re: Sexual Health Challenges and Solutions

Unread post by Kunle Emmanuel » Sun May 21, 2017 10:42 am

Does a man really go through menopause?
I am 65 years old, still want and love sex but my strength is failing. Does a man go through menopause?
Mr. Adamolekun Adamu Bello

Yes, a man goes through menopause, but to a large extent, different from a woman’s. Menopause is a term used to describe the end of a woman’s fertility; it literally means the end of menstruation. Female menopause is characterised by changes in hormone production. The male testes, unlike the woman’s ovaries, do not lose the ability to make hormones. A healthy male may be able to make sperm well into his 80’s or longer.

On the other hand, subtle changes in the function of the testes may occur as early as 45-50 years of age, and more dramatically after the age of 70. Because men do not go through a distinct male menopause period, some doctors refer to this as androgen (testosterone) deficiency in the aging male. Men typically experience a decline in testosterone production due to aging, but it can also be related to some diseases like diabetes. Whether waning function of the testicles contributes to such symptoms as fatigue, weakness, depression, decreased sexual desire, or impotence remains uncertain. If testosterone levels are low, replacing that hormone may help relieve them. However, replacing male hormones can worsen prostate cancer and high cholesterol levels.

Can a hysterectomy cause sexual problems for a woman?
I am a grandmother. Although still very active sexually, I recently underwent a hysterectomy. I still feel like having sex and want to but my husband thinks I should take it easy. Will engaging in sex complicate my health?
Lovely grand mother

Some women may experience changes in sexual function after a hysterectomy (surgical removal of the uterus). These changes may comprise a loss of desire, decreased vaginal lubrication and genital sensation. Furthermore, surgery can damage nerves and blood vessels considered critical to a woman’s sexual functioning. The best way to go about it is trying doing things bit by bit. You may not have sex the way you used to before the operation and you may have to take things easy, even when you feel you are okay. Little drops of water and little grains of sand make a mighty ocean. As time goes on, you may resume sex fully. So, take your husband’s advice and be in good health.

How can I improve my oral sex skills?
I am a husband with keen interest in giving my wife a good oral sex, but I lack the skill and courage. Is there a better way to go about it?
Christopher Silvanus

Think about something you excel at and chances are, you rock it because you really enjoy doing it. The same goes for giving great oral sex. The best way to be great at oral sex is to learn to like it. Or at least act like you do. That will help her feel more comfortable and then you will find you actually do enjoy it.

The biggest mistake husbands make when performing oral sex is going straight for the wife’s genitals. Don’t dive right in like it’s a pounded yam-eating contest! She’s not warmed up yet and it might even hurt her if she’s not aroused. The best thing to do is to tease her and draw out the experience before you even start going down. Plant kisses on her abdomen and thighs. Use your hands to gently massage the area surrounding her vagina to heighten her anticipation. When you finally do make contact, start off slowly with slight licks and gentle caresses to warm her up. Use both the tip and flat part of your tongue to flick and lick. Women tend to prefer circular motions, but experiment with different speeds and pressure, and pay attention to how she responds. If you’re feeling adventurous, try tracing the alphabet with your tongue, or lightly humming to create a slight vibrating sensation. You can also throw your fingers into the mix to try a little G-spot stimulation along with your tongue. As she gets closer to climax, keep doing exactly what you’re doing. Once she’s had her Big O, return to the gentle kisses around her outer labia and thighs before popping your head up to experience the praise for your hard work.

She is a top official but I want to conquer her on bed
Please Funmi, how do I get my top official wife to have sex with me more often? Yes, she is my boss at work but the only thing I can do to feel like a boss to her is to make her want sex with me more, as in like beg me for more. Give me clues.
Edopolo Matthew

You’re never going to “get” anyone to have more sex with you if you look at it as a one-way traffic. You want more sex and you expect your wife to come along for your pleasure ride. If you really want more sex from your wife, tailor the sex to her needs, instead of focusing all your attention on your pleasure and your ego.

While it’s common for couples to have mismatched libidos or pay cheque, it doesn’t necessarily mean she doesn’t like sex as much as you do, or not accepting you as her boss at home, she just might not need it as often, because of her work demand. A woman’s sex drive is tied to her brain and sense of security more than her nether regions. This means she needs to be warmed up for action. Foreplay starts after the last orgasm; so, if you’re feeling that she’s never in the mood, work on turning her on. Send her a flirty text message and tell her how good she felt last time you were together and what you’re going to do the next time you see her. Speaking of foreplay, kissing is another overlooked way to get things going and it’s often the first thing to slip by the wayside in long-term relationships. Lock lips to enhance intimacy and connection.

The last thing you want to do is to blame or pressure her, the more you push, the less she’ll want to give which won’t result in more action for you. You get more sex with helping her to be comfortable with you and herself even though she earns more. Sometimes, couples just aren’t matched up sexually no matter what you do, so it might take compromise on both parts to set a sex schedule that works for both of you.


He has trouble finishing what he starts
Sometimes my husband has trouble finishing the sex he starts and initiates. You need to see my husband when he is searching for sex, he looks so deprived, starved and you can literally see sex hunger on his face. He goes to any extent to get me in the mood and takes me to a height but as soon as I am almost deep into the act, my husband will get soft. He has never finished whatever sex moves he starts since inception of our marriage, what’s going on?
Mrs Apollos

If your husband has trouble climaxing, several things could be blamed. Your partner’s mind could be wandering elsewhere; maybe he’s distracted or is stressed about work. Then again, maybe he’s feeling self-conscious about not satisfying your needs in bed, you might have indirectly caused this. But if you suspect this may be the case, talk to him, pre-coitus [prior to sex], about ways to relax.

One more serious reason he may not be able to finish is something called “retarded ejaculation.” In this instance, a man may have no problem getting aroused, but staying that way and reaching orgasm is exceptionally difficult. This kind of problem has been linked to a number of nerve-related conditions like diabetes, nerve damage, prostate disease and the use of alcohol and drugs. In this instance, your husband should speak to a sex therapist.

My six-year-old girl has breasts
The growth of my six years old girl is so rapid that I am afraid of her being raped. She doubles her size in almost everything and this does not run in either of my family or the family of her father. Do you think she needs medical attention?
Worried mother

This is called central precocious puberty. Although a rare condition, it happens when the body matures sooner perhaps years earlier than expected.

Puberty usually starts around age seven and a half in girls and around age nine in boys. But with CPP, signs of puberty, such as budding breasts and body hair show up much sooner than parents might anticipate. It’s more common for girls. What actually happens is that the brain releases a hormone called gonadotropin-releasing hormone. which tells the pituitary gland to release hormones called gonadotropins. They tell the sex organs to make other hormones that start sexual development. In central precocious puberty, the brain releases GnRH at a younger-than-normal age and starts the process. Most of the time, doctors can’t pinpoint an exact cause for girls, but researchers have linked childhood obesity to early periods.

Most kids want to fit in with their peers. Developing early could make your child feel self-conscious. Other people may expect more maturity because they think your kid is older than she is. These challenges plus the emotional changes from extra hormones can be a lot for them to deal with. How can you help? Explain what’s happening in simple terms. Keep the lines of communication open, encourage your child to talk freely about her feelings, treat your kid appropriately for her age, watch out for the type of food she eats and make sure they are very organic and smaller potions; no artificial drink of any kind. Do what you can to boost her self-esteem. Try to focus your praise on academics or activities, rather than appearance. But for now, researchers are still looking for a way out.

I experience vaginal dryness
Thank you for the good job and may the good Lord continue to guide you and keep your home and marriage. I thank you for the solution you proffered to my last question, about farting during intercourse. It was highly helpful. This time, my question is about dryness of the vagina during intercourse; why does it happen and what is the solution? I want to know why because something happened recently. During sex, I notice that one minute, I am wet and the next, I am very dry. My husband gets bruised during the act. Also, I want to know if a breast-feeding mother needs contraceptives. If yes, what is the effect on the baby?
Temitolu Opokunle

Most times, it may just be that there was no enough foreplay, which means that the vagina was not well lubricated. And some other times, it might just be that the vaginal wall is not secreting enough fluid to get the wall well lubricated. Also, when the time of thrusting in and out is too lengthy, there may be a form of dryness. So, before sex, let there be enough foreplay and make use of good lubricant. Before you take any contraceptive, it is advisable to see your doctor or family planning officer to be well informed. Please, kindly do that and do not take any over-the-counter contraceptive.

How Saturday Punch article helped me
My name is Ken, a young married man. I really appreciate your marriage enlightenment segment most especially the article, ‘Positions that enhance sex.’ This really enhanced my performance. Do you know that after I read through it online, I was in state of erotic treasures and thank God, I was alone with my wife. So, I called her to take a look at something and gave her the Saturday Punch to read and before she finished reading, I immediately jumped over her and just repeated some of the things you taught in the article. I was still very strong and ready to soar for more even when she appeared to have reached the climax. Big thanks.
The happy groom

Thank you. Keep reading.

I lost sexual feeling
Dear Madam, my problem is that I suddenly lost sexual feeling during sexual intercourse with my wife. This started four years ago, when we had a five-month miscarriage. What should I do?
Tom Timothy

You probably experienced a temporary loss of libido because of the loss of a dear one. But I assure you that things will be okay again. Just keep making efforts in a more relaxed way and the feeling will come up again. It is a passing moment.

How do I recognise weak erection?
I enjoy your articles because you educate and give good counsel on sex and sexuality and you do not encourage sexual immorality.
I am a working-class single guy. I will be 30 this December. I have never made love to any woman in my life. I intend to have my first hand with my legally married wife, though it has not been easy because I am human. How will I know whether I have weak erection or not? I am not comfortable with my erection or will it be harder when I am with a woman? I don’t want embarrassment when the time comes.

Akgpank Young Fidelis.

Since you are not so sure, there is definitely a problem somewhere, because you should have started noticing that you have a good erection as a teenager. And this is how you will notice; in the morning, you will experience an erection towards the peak of your waking up or when you are about to have your first urination when you wake up [if you are the type that does not wake up to urinate at night] or the last urination before the day starts, which is either called morning glory, or people give it different names. But it is a hard-on you will definitely experience. It also happens whenever you see any erotic picture, image or when a lady you love is around you, or when a sexual thought flashes over your mind. If you experience all these and you never for once feel a hardness of your penis, then there is definitely a reason for you to see the doctor or a sex therapist. This is because all these feelings should either stimulate you or give you temporary arousal or even an emission of semen in some cases when the stimulation is very high or unbearable, due to the carousing object.

By Funmi Akingbade
Nigerian Nurses lighting up the world one candle at a time.

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Kunle Emmanuel
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Re: Sexual Health Challenges and Solutions

Unread post by Kunle Emmanuel » Sun May 21, 2017 10:48 am

Does sex cause the puffiness under my eyes?
I noticed I recently developed puffiness under my eyes and I think the fluid increases each time I have sex. My friends think it is as a result of excessive salt intake.
Mrs Igiedege Christy

A lot of things can cause puffiness of the eye but definitely not sex. Sometimes excessive intake of alcohol may cause it. If you are not getting enough sleep, it can also cause it. But it is nothing to really worry about. As a matter of fact, over-the-counter hemorrhoid treatment can help get rid of puffiness or bags under your eyes. Over-the-counter hemorrhoid treatment may help deflate under-eye bags, helping to tighten and smoothen the skin. Also, green tea bags contain a natural anti-inflammatory chemical, which can reduce fluid build-up that contributes to puffiness.

How long does sex last?
How long does intercourse typically last for most couples, and how many calories can a couple burn having sex? What is the smallest penis ever recorded?
Mr. Niloke from Lekki

Sexual intercourse lasts between three to 13 minutes. According to studies, about 300 calories per hour is lost during sex and the smallest penis is between five and eighth of an inch.

Can’t climax as his late wife
I got married to a widower recently and according to him, he and his late wife climaxed simultaneously every time they had sex. He wanted the same with us but I have never been able to climax that way. Though he does not refer to it, I can read disappointment on his facial appearance.
Glory Pepeku

It is possible that his late wife’s well-timed orgasms were genuine. The fact that anything is possible does not make it any less unlikely. Tell him you are not his late wife, that you have your own unique way of making him experience a third heaven sex. Tell him that the earlier he stops comparing both of you the better for the union.

Is it normal to sweat excessively during and after sex?
I am one of those that have higher preference for night sex. Until it is late into the night, I may not get aroused or have any desire at all for sex. I am grateful to God because my wife quickly adjusted to this. Sometimes I may wake her up from sleep, have a hot sex and immediately, she will sleep off. But my problem is this, I sweat excessively during and long after the act regardless of the level of coolness in our room. Am I okay?
Mr. Mofutau Brown

Excessive sweaty night sex is not related to any overheated environment. This may be as a result of unknown several hormone disorders, osteomyelitis or tuberculosis. Sometimes, it may be as a result of some symptoms of HIV infection. Some medications are most commonly associated with night sweats, while many cases are as a result of an idiopathic hyperhidrosis, a condition in which the body chronically produces too much sweat especially during and after sex without any identifiable medical cause. It will be a good idea if you visit a medical practitioner.

Can I still look forward to erotic sex at 50?
I know we age with everything including our sexual drive. But should aging affect desire? Does having grandchildren pose a threat to my family moral structure? My husband believes that since we have started having grandchildren, I am not supposed to still look forward to having erotic or pleasurable sex anymore. He says it is a sign of sexual perversion. He says instead, we should agree on him getting married to a younger girl to satisfy his own sexual needs while I teach her and my children’s wives how to be good wives. Funmi, is this right morally and medically? Do the sexuality of men change also or is it only those of women?
Mrs. Christiana Bibil

It is wrong morally and medically. It is either your husband is so traditional or he wants to justify the fact that he wants another wife with his own theory. Now the point is this, as we age, we experience sexual changes and because sexuality tends to be a private matter, it’s likely that you’ve heard less about sexual change than any other element of aging. But the good news is this, for most healthy adults, pleasure and interest don’t even diminish with age. Most people are sexual throughout their lives. Around age 50, men and women typically begin to notice changes in their sexual drive, sexual response, or both. Like so many other physical changes, they aren’t signs that you are losing your sexuality. Rather, these changes are simply something to adjust to without bias.

As men begin to age beyond 50s, their sex drive is minimally affected by age (although health problems, certain medicines, or relationship stress can lower sex drive). Their erections become less firm and tend to take more time than when younger. They may be actually able to delay ejaculation longer than when younger. But as women age beyond 50s, their level of oestrogen, androgen and pegesterone drops as a result of menopause, causing physical changes in the breasts and nipples. This may make it longer for a woman to become sexually excited and less interested in sex. Sometimes, because the skin may be more sensitive, she gets easily irritated when caressed. And because the wall of the vagina has become thinner, sex may be painful (but regular sex and good lubricant especially from the husband’s tongue often help prevent this from becoming severe).

In conclusion, I think what both of you should work towards is how to adjust to every age-related sexual change you may be experiencing rather than one party taking a flight. And with a little experimentation and patience, you can adjust to sexual changes and satisfy your sexual and intimacy needs.

I am a young wife but turning ugly
I started using some form of family planning injection on my arms because at 27 years, I am a mother of three sets of twins. It is not only financially draining but I live in and out of the hospital. Recently, I started noticing that I had suddenly developed excessive growth of facial and body hair while I keep losing the hair on my head. I am just 27 years old, I don’t have a strand of hair on my head any longer; rather I have hair all over my face and body. It is very embarrassing. Please, am I turning into a man?
Mrs. Itunu Oyejo

If you said you are on a family planning injection, there would be a need for you to visit your family planning officer or your doctor because your physical changes may be as a result of the side effect of some of the family planning injection. For instance, if you are on Depo-Provera, it may be the reason for the excessive growth of facial and body hair and hair loss on the head. Headaches, nervousness, depression dizziness, acne, changes in appetite and, weight gain/ loss are some of the side effects. It is made up of a hormone similar to progesterone and excess of it may not be ideal for you.

Courtesy PUNCH
Nigerian Nurses lighting up the world one candle at a time.

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Kunle Emmanuel
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Re: Sexual Health Challenges and Solutions

Unread post by Kunle Emmanuel » Sun May 21, 2017 10:52 am

Is the penis a muscle or does it have cartilage? How then can it be broken?

Jimoh Taiwo

The penis is not a muscle contrary to popular belief. It does not contain any muscle, which is why you cannot do much about its shape when it is erect. The penis is a kind of sponge that is filled with blood when a man is sexually excited. Blood builds up inside two cylinder-shaped chambers, causing the penis to swell and stiffen. The swelling blocks off the veins that normally take blood away from the penis. As an erection disappears, the arteries in the two chambers narrow again, allowing blood to drain away from the penis.

How effective are condoms?
My husband and I went on a couples’ cruise this summer and it was an awesome experience. But in spite of the use of a good condom, I still got pregnant. How effective are condoms? We’re still planning to go for holiday in December but I fear that I might be seasick.
Mrs. Chunua Okmarto

Condoms are effective at preventing unwanted pregnancies, but only work when they are used consistently and correctly. Studies estimate that 2 out of 100 couples using condoms consistently and correctly only become pregnant during the first year of use. To get the best out of condom use, do not remove them prior to ejaculation bacause it may lead to pregnancy. Make putting on of a condom part of the pleasure of foreplay; this way, your husband is less likely to lose his erection. Keep condom in a cool and dry place out of sunlight and please do not reuse condoms. Check the expiration dates on condoms. Yes, your last cruise to Spain was splendid and remarkable, but I tell you, the next one to Dubai is going to be breathtaking because of the historical places couples visit. I want as many couples to be part of this cruise. You should not be afraid of seasickness; there are medical experts that would take good care of you.

What is ‘orchitis’?

Orawemu Sunny

Orchitis is a condition in which the testicle is inflamed, and that can be secondary to an infection or another inflammatory condition. But certainly, infection is the most common cause of an infection of the testicle.
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Re: Sexual Health Challenges and Solutions

Unread post by Kunle Emmanuel » Sun May 21, 2017 11:04 am

Not well lubricated even when turned on lately, even when I am turned on, I am not very lubricated.
I am just in my early 20s but I have been noticing a high level of vaginal dryness, and I definitely am not in early menopause. Just got married few years now. Love and enjoy sex but the dryness makes sex painful.
Mrs. Cosmos Abigail

First let me start by saying that you definitely may not be too sure what can be going on in your body. So, I would advise you to be more health conscious. However, experiencing vaginal dryness can result from lots of different things, most of the times, they are things ladies of your age group would not have considered important. Such including but not limited to dehydration; if you do not drink a lot of water, you may experience vaginal dryness. As a matter of fact, taking certain medications (even over-the-counter antihistamines, cough syrups, cold medicines and some antibiotics, or if you are breastfeeding and you do not take lots of water, you may experience this. Besides physiological changes of the mucosal tissue or a thinning of mucosal tissue and changing hormone levels during menopause can be a cause.

Try and make sure you have some personal lubricants, always have them on hand for getting wet. Choose water-based lubricants; they are safer if using condoms. Oil-based lubes can damage the integrity of condoms. And avoid coloured, scented, and flavored lubricants, which can trigger yeast infections and may ultimately exacerbate dryness.

I am so confused here
I think I am repeatedly contracting yeast infection from my wife. Because how can it be that the only time I experience painful urination, redness of the head of my penis and itchy feelings were only after having unprotected sex with my wife?

It started months ago, so to be sure I have my facts, I started using condom while having sex with her giving the excuse that we do not need more babies, but the actual fact is that I wanted to be sure the infection is not coming from me. I need your advice before confronting her with infidelity. What do you think?
Confused husband

Actually, it is rare, but it does happen, according to research. A husband can develop similar symptoms of yeast infection if the wife has been infected with it, symptoms such as —redness, itching, or unusual discharge—after having unprotected sex. Husband can be especially at risk if the husband is taking antibiotics for a long time, or if he has diabetes, and he is also treating it with medications or if the man has an impaired immune system (all of which can allow yeast to flourish) or if he’s uncircumcised. The foreskin creates a moist environment that is conducive to yeast growth. Now yeast infection is not majorly as a result of infidelity or extra marital affairs. It could be but majority of yeast infection is not as a result of that.

Many wives who do not observe good vulva hygiene can have yeast infection. Or when they are taking some antibiotics for a long time. Or if they are in their menstrual cycle. Or if the husband does not clean up the dry uric acid on the tip of his penis before penetrative sex. However, over-the-counter antifungal medicine can be used to treat the condition, but it’s best to hold off on having sex until your symptoms—and your wife’s are completely gone. That way, you won’t risk re-infecting each other.

As much as it is noise, it’s just not working for me

Dear Funmi, much has been said and written about the magic, mystery, and beauty of missionary position. But frankly speaking, this position is not working for me. It’s more of a nightmare and excruciating pain for me. It brings pain instead of pleasure. Why is this so? For me, sex in the missionary position is a no go area, what can I do?
Mrs. Margaret Etimafo

Actually, certain sex positions could be more painful than others if you have a tilted uterus, all other things being equal. Some 20 per cent or more of women all over the globe have been discovered to have a retroverted uterus. This is a condition in which the top of the uterus naturally slants toward the spine or tailbone instead of up toward the belly button. You may definitely not know this except you have a scan done.

Just to be on the safer side and make sure everything is working fine, I will suggest a visit to the gynaecologist for an examination to determine if yours is tilted. Just to be sure. As a matter of fact, a sharply retroverted uterus can make sex to be painful, and even the use of some certain sanitary pads like the tampon. Different positions, such as woman on top, can alleviate the discomfort, and if you’re trying to conceive and have a tilted uterus, lying on your tummy after sex may help sperm swim into your cervix, this is very important to bear in mind.

Funmi Akingbade, cafi.punch@yahoo.com

What to do when she is pregnant?
We are newly married and already my wife and I are anticipating her first pregnancy, but I am a little bit concerned. My object of concern is just what to expect sexually while she is pregnant. I love sex, dream of sex, engage in sex with a high velocity and I really would not want any pregnancy to put me on hold for the nine-month period of her pregnancy. Besides this, I know my wife secretly fears the size of my penis thinking it may cause damage to the baby or be too big for her while in pregnancy state. I am highly endowed and this is really not to my advantage.
The best married husband so far

There is actually no need for you to experience fear or anxiety of any kind. Both of you can still experience blissful sex from day one of conception to few days to delivery. The best ways to experience blissfulness are as follows-;

One … Be very understanding, caring and tolerant to any change in condition especially any of her particular or unique reaction to pregnancy. The moment this is in place, I can assure you that both of you are going to experience the best of sex.

Two … I need you to know that the vaginal secretions generally have a much stronger odour during pregnancy than at other times, so it is advisable to encourage her to clean up well.

Three … How much a woman wants and enjoys sex can vary during pregnancy, not only from one woman to another, but also in the same woman at different times throughout the 40 weeks.

Three … In fact, some women have their first orgasm or multiple orgasms while pregnant.

Five … I also need to tell expectant pregnant wives this: remember that, just because your husband wants you to start the sexual encounter doesn’t mean he expects you to take over the sex bed. Once he knows you are hot for him on bed, he’ll be so turned on he’ll be the one jumping all over you. But kindly be careful not to hurt your wife or the baby.

Six … both husband and wife must know that if sex hurts so badly first, it may be likely the wife is not producing enough lubricant. So buy additional artificial lubricant to prevent friction, pain and hurt. Then it may also be that you both are not spending enough time together during foreplay. If you spend quite a good time with foreplay to become adequately aroused, sex will definitely be without much pain.

Seven … The vagina can accommodate any size of a penis inasmuch as the same vagina can accommodate the head of a new born baby and so far, there has not been any penis size that is as big as the head of a new born or the body mass of a new born baby. Any time you and your wife are getting busy, take it slow. Wife, have your husband lavish attention on all your hot spots, with plenty of genital touching and tongue teasing. And make sure you apply some water-based lube to your vagina or his shaft right before he enters you.

She has lost interest in sex
I am a regular reader of your column. I got married about seven years ago and the marriage is blessed with two lovely kids, six and two years old respectively. I fall in the category of men who did not have the ‘’best of time’’, sexually before marriage due to parental strictness and guidance (a blessing in disguise, you will say). Hence, I was looking forward to a sexually enjoyable and explosive marriage. I met my wife a virgin and she never allowed me to have sexual intercourse during our courtship.

The first six months of our marriage was beautiful when it comes to sex, but after then, her interest dwindled; she did not initiate sex anymore and I became more of burden anytime I demanded sex at night. These days, I am lucky when I am able to have it once in a week; best-case scenario is twice in a week. I have tried my best to make her happy by buying her gifts from time to time; but the effect does not last long. I bought a Honda car for her just for good sex, but nothing changes.

It is becoming so frustrating. I have tried on a couple of occasions to make her read your columns but she does not; she is not an avid reader. I am giving up the fight and I do not want to seek for pleasure outside my marriage, even though the temptations are always there.

I am confused.
Bolero kunle

Thanks a lot for sharing with me, l want to first appreciate the fact that you have done a great job by not taking irrational decisions. I would also want to add that you should try to create time out that you will actually pour your heart out to your wife the way you did to me now. I am so sure, when she sees the importance, she will definitely change because no woman wants her marriage to pack up. You can do this by going for a weekend vacation to a free, quiet and private place together, keep the children with trusted friends and just go out alone together. This eradicates stress and helps both of you to unwind.

You should also remember that affection and foreplay mean a lot to many ladies, if you skip foreplay, most of them feel as if they are being legally raped or put under the knife of a surgeon. Then make sure that the way and manner you address and talk to her is befitting a wife and not an elevated house girl.

My condom slips off
I recently got married to a young beautiful girl. We decided not to start child-bearing immediately after marriage. We resorted to using condom for family planning. But my problem is that during sex, the condom slips off too frequently and this is quite irritating. Is there a better way to wear it? I don’t want to use any other method.

I can understand your frustrations, because badly fitting condoms reduce the sexual pleasure of couples. A recent study on 436 men found that 45 per cent had used ill-fitting condoms before. These men were more than twice as likely to report the condom breaking or slipping and contributing to difficulty in reaching orgasm for both partners. They were also five times more likely to suffer irritation of the penis and report reduced sexual pleasure for them and their partners. Using condoms also affected erections, with men around twice as likely to say they interfered with their erection or caused erection loss.

Some husbands who also complained of condoms becoming dry during sex were twice as likely to remove the condom before the end of intercourse. When next you want to purchase a condom, ask questions such as the size, the make and brand name. This will assist you to choose the right one.
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Re: Sexual Health Challenges and Solutions

Unread post by stephensam » Wed Jul 25, 2018 11:39 am

Nowadays so many couples are facing the sexual health problem. Lots of couples are not able to enjoy their relationship hours due to the sexual health issue problem. Mainly men are not performing well in the relationship hour, because of the sexual health issues. Few men are using sildenafil citrate 100mg pills, because lots of doctors also prescribed this medicine to cure the sexual problem. This is the best remedy for the sexual problem.

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Re: Sexual Health Challenges and Solutions

Unread post by louiselipsey » Wed Aug 22, 2018 1:32 pm

great article! I really like this)

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